Is a man with a bullhorn adequate flood warning?
Here we are again in flood season and Massey's huge coal sludge dam is still poised above us.
If the spring rainfall pattern holds true, then we may see some action. The elementary school will be torn asunder, children will be smothered and drowned. Bo the dog and Eileen's old tomcat will perish in a horrible fashion and all residents in low-lying areas will die.
That is, unless Performance Coal's foolproof evacuation plan works. The plan is to send Elbert Stover out with a bullhorn to warn us: "Run for your lives, the dam has busted."
He will complete his task without fail even though he will have to come upstream through the sludge to reach us.
But that's the kind of fellow he is.
If you don't believe the part about the bullhorn, check it out on the Internet.